there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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