Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
