butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
