Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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