like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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