My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
