so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i now understand why vodka
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
