I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
