So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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