And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
