Plan B is the new Plan A
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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