I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
