...so i touched it.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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