I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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