We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
