did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
