i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
