I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
