Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
