I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
