i barfeds in our rink
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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