God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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