I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
