I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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