3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
