Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
