Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
