Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It's rum buckets o'clock
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
