idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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