so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
