I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
