No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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