She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
