I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
