The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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