just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize