I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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