yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
