I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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