??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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