Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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