her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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