She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
