how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
