people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
