What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
