I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
