his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
