yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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