so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We talked him into tasing himself.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
