I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
