I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize