I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
