So drunk its hurt
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
