This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
