I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
