another moral hangover. fuck.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
