I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
