I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
