that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I came so hard my ears popped.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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