there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
