I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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