I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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