I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just gargled with NyQuil
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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