i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
