If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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