i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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