in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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