they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
