My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
