Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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